Ivy

To the first three that read this one.

"Best Friends?"

"Always."

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Ivy

by Nicole Lambe

The wind in her hair was invigorating. It made her feel alive again.

“Julian, you have to be kidding me.”

“Get in the car,” he stated sternly.

“I refuse.”

“Get in the car, dammit. I will get out and drag you in here. You have been moping way too long. Lets go.”

Ivy got into his car without another word. The streetlights were shining into the car as she watched him drive. She started noticing little things about him; the way his hair curled, the softness of his lips and the glimmer in his eyes even despite dim light. In that moment she saw just how incredibly beautiful he was. Her best friend was not just some boy, but he was quite remarkable in ways she never allowed her eyes to discover. Amongst her, as the street blew past them outside, was the one of few persons she believed knew her almost as well as she knew herself. She loved him for that. She loved him for caring about her even when she knew in herself she shouldn’t be loved. She didn’t think she could be loved. She was far too broken for that.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” She intrigued while watching his pursed lips.

Julian looked gravely ahead giving no answer. Ivy began to be concerned. Where could he possibly be taking me? She thought to herself. It was getting dark outside and they entered onto the highway. The atmosphere around them turned to headlights and horns. Somewhere along the way Ivy drifted asleep with her head against the side of the car to the sounds of Julian humming softly to a song on the radio.

She awoke to the door slamming shut. Eyes hazy she looked outside the window to see Julian coming around the car to open her door. He opened it carefully, slipping his arm around her back and leading her out of the car. They walked to the bridge, looking over the edge at all the cars zooming past beneath them. For a while they stood like that, looking out at the cars and feeling what they were in this world.

“What’s bugging you today?” He broke the silence.

“Everything,” she spoke blandly.

            He sighed, taking hold of her hand. The small soft embrace binding the two as they continued to look out, the trillions of stars in the sky and the hundreds of cars making them feel belittled. Ivy knew how small she was in that moment and Julian the same.

            “It’s not worth it you know,” he spoke again.

            “Julian, I can’t help it.”

            He suddenly swung his legs over the edge of the bridge, grasping onto the bars he was sitting on. Ivy looked at him puzzled. He motioned for her to sit the same. Half- trusting him, she hesitantly swung her legs over, her knuckles white because of how tight she gripped the bar. Her blonde hair blew all around her. The wind in her hair was invigorating. It made her feel alive again.

            “We could drop right now.” Julian stated.

            “So why don’t we?” Ivy coldly spurred out. She didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly, but being that she was not in the best of places did her no favors.

            “Do you really want to die like this Ivy? Do you understand what you’re even saying anymore; let alone what you’re doing? You let it take over your life. You’ve become this maniac. You don’t sleep. You barely eat. You cry all the time and for what Ivy? We’re so small. Look at the sky. Count. Can you even? No. You can’t. We are so insignificantly small and you’re going to let something that is even more insignificantly small affect you like this?”

            Ivy shook her head. She knew that she’d been bad lately, but she also knew that it was out of her control. Everything she’d been saying, doing and feeling was beyond what her mind could handle. She felt Julian’s hand slide closer to hers on the bar, making her flinch at the sudden sensation of heat.

            “Ivy it is not worth this anguish. Nothing is worth the anguish you feel. I look at you. Everyday I watch you. Skylar, Sienna and myself, we watch you. I remember you before it all, before this. You’d walk around with your long hair flowing and your bright sea green eyes glistening. Everybody envied you. Everyone wanted to be you. To see the alleged same girl I’m starring at right now, starring down at cars passing with the wind in her hair as if she wants to fall amidst it all kills me. You’ve let it get to you far too much. Inside you are so many demons and you need to release them. You need to let go.”

            She broke down into tears as they sat there, his eyes watching each glistening drop of water falling from her delicate face. Contemplating what he just said she released one of her hands from the bars.

            “Ivy if you’re going to jump, I’m jumping with you. You need to know you are not alone and if you want to go, I’m going with you.

            She gripped onto the chain around her neck, tugging on it and breaking the clasp. Tears streaming down her face she slowly released her hold on it, watching it slip through her fingers.

            “We’re not jumping tonight, Julian.” Ivy said half-heartedly through some sobs.

            Julian swung back over, planting his feet back on solid ground. He grabbed Ivy’s waist, lifting her back to reality. He guided her back to the car, she leaned against the side and the two stared at each other for what seemed like eternity until finally Julian leaned down and kissed her forehead. His lips soft on her skin she snaked her arms around his neck pulling him down and allowing their lips to meet for the first time. The kiss lasted for a while, her hot tears dripping onto his skin. They let go, their noses touching.

            “Best friends?” Ivy whispered.

           

            “Always,” Julian promised.

           

            The two got into the car and drove home silently.