A Letter to My Little Brother

Dear Little Brother,

The only place I know where to start is the beginning. I was about two years old when mom and dad first brought you home and from what I am told, I was so excited for your birth. We grew up side by side— learning NSYNC dance routines, playing Super Mario Sunshine and being diehard WWE fans. You let me dress you up all girly and I refereed your wrestling matches as you choke slammed large pillows and pinned them.  Somewhere in those years of videogames, dancing and constantly training each other to play soccer, we both grew up. Now we’re driving to different cities together, you’re almost finished high school and instead of rocking out to the Backstreet Boys, we’ve got a playlist of rappers that we both sing to at the top of our lungs. However, no matter how much time passes, no matter how many little fights we’ve gotten into (me always winning), you have always done one thing that saves me time and time again: you’ve been my best friend.

You’ve been my teammate, my coach, the Justin Timberlake to my JC Chasez,  my partner in crime (remember when you tested to see if we could jump clear off the shed into the pool), my wardrobe consultant; but most importantly, you’ve always been my brother. You know exactly what to say when I’m upset and you always have some video to make me laugh with.  I can’t explain how grateful I am for a brother who will eat ice cream and salt and vinegar chips with me while cry about a break up and I will never be able to explain how grateful I am that we can literally be in the car for five minutes and walk into the house laughing because of some lyric we sang wrong to a horrible Fetty Wap song. You have always put my happiness first, and I promise I will always put yours first too. I’ll always be here for you to talk to, to confide in and to have fun with.

Truth is, seventeen is such an underrated age that no one really talks about. It’s the in-between, the year after that sweet sixteen, the year before you’re officially an adult.  The fact of the matter is that it is one of the most important; even though it is quite often ignored. There is so much that is learned, a thousand little moments that you need to cherish. So, now that you’re turning the big one-seven, I'm going to give you seven pieces of advice to help guide you.

1.     Every year as you get older, the time goes faster. When you turn seventeen, it goes seventeen times as fast. In your next year at seventeen, you’re going to wish you were eighteen; you’re going to wish you were old enough to do a lot of things, regardless though, cherish your time at this age. So many things are about to start changing and you should bask in your youth this year. Take a lot of pictures and write everything down. Even if it’s just a quick snippet or a sentence saying your day was good, you’ll look back at being seventeen and be able to laugh. Its good to remember where you came from. 

2.     The most important relationship you have is the one with your family. You may not see it all the time but no matter what, they always have your back. They want to build you up, help you grow into a strong, successful man. All that they will ever do is help to guide you. They are the ones who held you when you cried as a child, they will hold you when you cry when you’re seventeen, and they will still hold you as long as they live. Make time for them. Make them proud.

3.     If you never cared about school, this is the time you should to try to. The effort you put in now can be the difference between doing what you want and having to settle. Try your hardest so that when it comes down to deciding, you have all your options open; and when it comes down to it, if you’ve worked hard at many things, there will be some sort of a path leading you towards the thing that you enjoyed working at.

4.     Don’t hesitate to ask questions about how to handle things. When you’re seventeen (and eighteen and even older) you think you can do everything on your own. The people in your life are there for that specific reason. To be there. It’s okay to ask for help when you’re overwhelmed. It’s okay to just ask someone to talk. That’s why we have people in our lives; it’s how we show each other love.

5.     You might start to see your group of friends getting smaller. In this year especially, people will come and people will go. The important lesson here is to cherish the people who are there for you when you need them most and learn to let go of the ones who aren’t working to help you find yourself. Those who stay will grow and become an extension of your family.

6.     Be able to say two important words: the first being “hello.” You’ll be getting a job, or continuing to work somewhere part time. You’ll be looking at post-secondary options. You’ll be going and experiencing things in places you’ve never been. Say hello to people. Introduce yourself. Have conversations with people you cross paths with.  You will find lovely friendships with people if you give them a chance. You just got to put that effort in. Be able to say the second word: goodbye.  A lot of people find trouble doing this one. If something isn’t worth hanging on to, then say goodbye to it. Do not sacrifice who you are in order to mould into relationships with people. As you grow up, you grow out of things; you have different interests. Not every friendship/relationship built to withstand that kind of change, sometimes its better to love and find peace with that rather than forcing it. It’s okay for things to become nothing but memories and a fleeting hello when you pass.

7.     You’re going to have to make a lot of choices about your future now and they’re probably some of the scariest ones you will ever make. What you choose now, believe it or not, has the power to influence your life ten years from now. You’re going to have a million options flying at you and it’s going to confuse you, challenging what you think to be best for you. It’s okay if you’re unsure as to what you want for sure. All I can tell you is to follow your heart, and find the best platform for yourself.  You can change your mind a thousand times right now, just know that in the end, you will be where you are meant to if you follow your heart and stay true to yourself.

Thank you for always being you, Josh. I love you to the moon and back. Happy Birthday.

Love,

Your Big Sister