Moonlight & Metaphors

It’s been over two years since I left the country. With the pandemic, a breakup or two, staying home constantly, I think life had sort of lost its vivacity for me. When I started going back in person to work again, some things just felt different. Toronto had always been this bustling, big city for me that was like a promise. At twenty-two, fresh out of school, it represented everything I’d always wanted— a career in Canadian Lit, full of culture, new opportunities, and art all around me. But after two years of doing that dream job from home, postponing things, it was different. There’s this Hemingway quote, kind of cliché, “I can’t stand it to think my life is going so fast and I’m not really living it,” and it’s been eating at me. I hate to feel like I’m spectating my life. I began to feel awkward on the subway. I didn’t want people looking over my shoulder at what I was reading, I was scared to ask for directions when I got lost. For fucks sake, I never even took an uber alone befor